I find myself sometimes scared...well...shitless.
Not because I watch too much news or because I think some terrible thing is going to happen to me. Sometimes I am afraid because I know that at the end of the day, no one is responsible for me, but me. Sometimes I am afraid becuase I feel the responsibilty for the life of my child. Sometimes I am afraid because I can't quite tell which is more terrifying....a life of happiness, or a life of struggle. In these increasingly frequent moments I long to be held.
Perhaps it is primal, like a child crying for their mother. Perhaps it is spiritual, a person crying out to their god.
Can all fear be held in a strong man's arms?
And if so, does the strong man never fear?
But if he does, who is to hold him?
I wonder....
Life with MS
4 years ago
Hi Alisha-
ReplyDeletePowerful post. AS difficult as your being alone is I found that I came to know more of my own strengths when I was alone with three kids for about 6 years. Phew. THere were mornings I cried at the kitchen sink paralyzed with fear of how I would make it through the day. SO I understand.
And when the new man comes along I Pray that he too will be afraid at times - and that you will hold each other when each of you are afraid. Meanwhile? hold on.............and that R.E.M song I posted near the end of my 100thpost, "Everybody Hurts", says it all. (go take a listen) k?
Love to you Alisha
Gail
peace.....
Thanks Gail, just paid your 100th post a visit!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to have you on blogging with the world. (or at least my world):)
Thanks to for sharing your fear, I think it is good sometimes just to hold it, know that we can and to find the courage to hurt.....sometimes.
XO & Peace
Alisha
Hi again-
ReplyDeleteyou are so very welcome. :-)
cause everybody hurts.....sometime.
love to you
Gail
peace.....