When Your Down

I don't really care about the video itself, but I love the words.
This song makes me think about how hard this last year has been. It makes me think about how many times I felt alone and scared or sad. The clarity for me is this. I no longer want to protect Kyle from necessary struggle and suffering. I want him to know that he is held by me, that I won't feel like I have to make it go away for him.

If we can get past the suffering and powerlessness that we feel when our loved ones are hurting, and are willing to just be present with them in it, I think we might find our way to the most intimate and lasting bonds that humans can forge.

My Birthday

Today I am thirty.
Yesterday the country and world welcomed a new era with open arms.
We all get fresh starts, new days and do-overs if we are willing to accept that we need them. We also get endings and time to reflect before we leave safe harbor again.
All in all the thought that fills me today is this- I am happy to be alive. Really really happy. (Thanks mom!)

I want to say "Thank You" to
Scott & Betsy
Jenn
Mom
Tiff
Matt
Mickey
Jennifer
Julie
Carly
Gretchen
Michelle
Sherri
Jonathon
Atilla
Rita
Angie
Daryll
Kyle
& the entire Golden OB office

For your birthday wishes and for teaching me to celebrate life!

Want vs. Welcome

Want-[wawnt]-to feel a need or desire --Origin: 1150–1200; ME wante < class="ital-inline">vanta to lack

Welcome-[wel kuh m]- to receive or accept with pleasure; regard as pleasant or good—Origin: bef 900. wil- welcome (see will 2 ) + cuma comer Will Come

The word Will has its root in the word wish, whose roots are in joy, which came from to be glad.

So we can either want or welcome something...can you see the difference?

I am the Moon

I am the moon, sister to the sun

I am a flashlight in the darkness

I move the waters as I grow

I am always changing

I am worth reaching for

Musings of a sick woman

I am sick today..nothing earth shattering just a plain old ordinary winter bug....and so I muse

Kyle asked me at least three times today why I was sick and more importantly if I would get better. I responded that humans are made to heal and for him that was an acceptable answer. Some of you may know that I love words. I think there is so much more to words than we can ever imagine. The sound we make as we say them, the tone of voice they invoke, the history of the word through the ages...every word carries a story or truth.

So today, I though about healing...whose roots are in the word whole. I started to think about how we need so many things in order to be whole. We need family, community, spirituality, good food, rest, and so much more. So today I set my mind away from being a victim of the invisible little buggers that have a death grip on my sinuses and turn my attention to thankfulness for all of the things and people that I know and don't know who are helping me to "heal."

*Achoo!*